28 weeks

Today was my 28 week appt and I had to drink that horribly nasty cup of orange grossness. I really think the cup gets bigger with each pregnancy. Oh it is so gross and makes me all shaky. I really hope I pass so I don't have to go in for the LONG test. I've passed the other 2 times, so hopefully this will be the same. I get to start going in every 2 weeks now. I have 4 more appts that are 2 weeks apart and then I go every week, until I deliver. Can you tell I'm getting antsy? OH and I've decided I don't like being this pregnant during the winter (I know I'm not even THAT pregnant yet). I think late May/early June is a good time to have a baby. Don't be surprised if that is when the rest of my babies come.
While Matt and I were at my dr appt, Ally went swimming with my sister. She had a great time and is now sleeping soundly. She is totally wiped out.

What we've been doing...

On Friday Ally and I went to the zoo with our friends. It was in the 40's, so we wanted to take advantage of the warmer temps and get the kids outside. We had a great time and were glad to spend it outside. I didn't take any pictures when we were there, but I took these before we left.

I love doing Ally's hair, especially when she cooperates with me.

On Thursday Ally and I went to the park, to once again, enjoy the 40 degree temps. I had been watching the weather and saw that it was suppose to get cold this week, so I KNEW we had to get outside. I still had her bundled up like it was below freezing because I didn't want her getting sick.

She had so much fun playing.

Here she is striking a silly pose.

So the last few days (not today) have been rough for me. I know I'm going to have my ups and downs and this has been one of them. I had been organizing pictures yesterday when I came across those and hadn't really looked at them since we got them (they're from Matt's dads camera and he made us a copy of the pictures). They were taken in the fall and I remember just about every bit of that day and what we did. Those pictures definetely capture "Cosette" and it brought a lot of memories to the surface. Today Ally was singing Happy Birthday and all of a sudden she was singing it to Cosette. Then she said that Cosette was eating cake at Jesus' home. I told her it wasn't Cosette's birthday, but maybe she was eating cake in celebration of someone else's birthday. She informed me that it was Cosette's cake and she was eating it with Jesus. I'm not going to doubt Ally on this one, for all I know Cosette is eating cake with Jesus. I guess I'll find out when I see her!

I miss this little girl so much

i miss all her faces. she has so many faces she pulls and we love each one of them. she has such the personality. i miss her curls and playing with her hair.

i can't wait to see her again. her hugs and kisses were the best.
she always knew how to make me smile.

she knew what she wanted. when she said "no" she meant it with every morsel of her body. i love you Cosette.

Just my thoughts...ramblings..and randomness

I ordered a book 2 weeks ago and have been excited to read it. It is The Gateway we call Death by Russell M. Nelson. I love this book. It has brought so much insight as I've read it. Here's a bit of what I like: we can't fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life. I thought that was so good. Here's another: Parents who have surrendered the sweetest and smallest flowers from the family's garden need to remember our loving Heavenly Father. He has promised a special reward to those who now suffer in silence, who spend long days and longer nights through their trying times of bereavement. Our Creater has promised glory. He said, " For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand." (D&C 58:4) Elder Bruce R. McConkie said, "Little children shall be saved. They are alive in
Christ and shall have eternal life. For the family unit will continue, and the fulness of exaltation is theirs. No blessing shall be withheld. They shall rise in immortal glory, grow to full maturity, and live forever in the highest heaven of the celestial kingdom." Elder Nelson said, "Birth is the gateway to mortal life; death is the gateway to immortality and eternal life. Spiritually mature and sensitive children are called by their Creator prematurely to pass through the gateway to immortality and eternal life." "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)
I have a few more chapters left in the book, but it has really helped with understanding and putting things in perspective.
Honestly there are more ups than downs by far for me. I feel like Heavenly Father had prepared me for this (if that is at all possible) not that I was ready to let Cosette go, but I feel like she has been with me several times and reassured me that things are going to be okay. I feel like not having Cosette here with me physically has been a huge reminder to me that I am still a mom, I still have other children that need me, and I will get to finish raising her. She makes me try harder everyday. Tomorrow it will be 7 weeks since she left us. It definetely feels like SO much longer. She left a huge hole in our family and I can't wait for it to be filled with her again. I'm sure she's making everyone laugh with all of her many faces, her desire for independence is probably driving someone crazy. Her looks are melting hearts. She's blowing everyone away with all that she knows. She is helping take care of all the young babies that are there with her. She is giving lots of hugs and kisses. I want to do all I can to make sure my family ends up together again. I am doing what I can right now, but feel at some point I will be able to do more. I am so thankful for the gospel, for my eternal marriage, and that I have all of my children sealed to me. We don't know how many more tomorrows we have, so we need to live each day like its our last. Smile more and help others smile as well. It's easier and more fun to go through life smiling, than to sulk through it.
Thank you to all for keeping our family in your prayers. We appreciate your friendship and heartfelt thoughts and prayers.

Day 4 & 5

We went to Myakka State Park and got to see alligators. It was nap time or just about, so little miss was not the most cooperative 2 year old. She ended up falling asleep during our drive through the park.

We had shorts and t-shirts, no need for a big huge coat. Boy do I miss that right now.
Ally is trying to see through her glasses. Silly girl, for some reason she has issues with looking through the lens.

This was before we went to the state park. We stopped at Crescent Beach in Siesta Key. We found lots of neat shells.

Before we had left Ally had been wanting to make a snowman and we kept telling her that when we go to Florida well make a sandman. Here he is.

A sandy beach bum.

Hopefully soon

I know I am slacking on getting our vacation pictures on here, but I am hoping it will happen this week.

Ally the wanna be model

She loves to pose for pictures.

She loves to get dressed up.

A muscle picture.

I love this dress. It has hearts at the top and on the bottom it has bunnies with pom pom tails.

Its so fun being a girl. I love having a little girl I can dress up, do her hair, and that she lets me do this to her.

Cincinnati Childrens Museum

Here are pictures from our trip to Cincinnati:

After about 1/2 hour of being there, 2 HUGE daycare groups showed up. Those kids were crazy and out of control. We didn't stay as long as we probably would have. I really dislike field trip groups. It seems like the kids are totally disruptive and acting out of control.
Ally really likes this ball area. You hold the ball up to the tube and it sucks it up and drops it in a basket above you and every 2 minutes it empties onto whoever is standing beneath it.

Playing in the snow

While Tahnee was here on break (she goes to dog grooming school in Florida) she wanted to play in the snow, so she came over and played with Ally.

Playing in the snow with mommy.
Playing in the snow with Grandpa (if you look at the left you can barely see him) and daddy.

Grandpa getting hit with snow balls from Ally and daddy.

Ally playing with mommy.

I found this funny and wanted to write it down so I could remember it.
Just a minute ago Ally was helping me put things away in the bathroom. I took Matts razor and put it out of her reach and told her it was sharp and she shouldn't touch sharp things. She then repeated the word a few times. I then asked her if she knew what sharp meant. She looked at me for a minute and then replied, "well yeah, it hurts me". I had no clue she knew what the word meant. Sometimes she's too smart for her own good.

Pack, unpack, pack, unpack

That is how I feel lately. Luckily we should be done for awhile. We love going away, but lately it seems like all we do. We got back from Disney last Monday, on Saturday we drove up to Matt's parents house and spent the night, came back on Sunday, then the 3 of us drove to Cincinnati on Tuesday and got back this morning. Ally loves going to hotels and gets excited about it. She usually sleeps just fine when we are away from home, so we're lucky. Yesterday while Matt was in a conference all day Ally and I went to the Cincinnati Childrens Museum. We had a good time. I was telling Matt that it seemed smaller to me this time, but I thought that it might have something to do with me only needing to keep my eye on 1 kid instead of 2. We had a good time and I just let Ally take the lead on what we did and for how long. Then we ate lunch at Wendys and I let her pick where we sat, what she got for lunch (with a bit of guidance), and what kind of dessert we got. After that we headed back to the hotel and took naps. When Matt got back we headed to IKEA. Neither of us had ever been there before. We love it and will be back when we need to buy furnishings for our house. I found the bed we want to get Ally and a cute table and chair set for her as well. I am super excited about buying all that stuff and probably even more excited to just get a house.

Days like today...

really make me miss our vacation. The weather was great while we were there. It was warm, sunny, and we loved every minute of it. Currently right outside my window it is snowing. I just went outside to bring in the trash cans and IT. IS. COLD. I really am starting to think we should start living like the snow birds and lakers and head south to somewhere warm during the cold months. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the snow. I enjoy looking out the windows in my house and seeing the snow, I enjoy watching it fall on the trees and how the trees look after a big snow, and I enjoy sledding in it. What I don't like is the cold that must accompany the snow.
Anyways, enough of me complaining about the weather. This morning Ally and I went shopping and got lots of new clothes for Ben. I looked at clothes for everyone else while we were shopping, but couldn't find anything for anyone but the little guy. Oh well, he doesn't have a big brother to get hand me downs from.

Day 3- Cocoa Beach

The reason this is day 3, is because we spent day 1 and part of day 2 driving there. This was our first full day in 80 degree weather.

The view from our room.

This is what Ally looked like every time she slept. She made sure to take up the entire bed. She was exhausted by the time every nap and bedtime came around.
She doesn't like wearing sunglasses, but would because we told her she had to. This is how she'd wear them.

We walked to Ron Jon Surf Shop, then Matt went to 7-Eleven and got us some chips and slurpees.

Ally's become a real poser for pictures. You can't always get her to look at the camera, but she'll pose for you in an instant.

We're back...

from an almost 2 week vacation to WARM Florida. We spent the first night on the road in Byron, GA. The 2-3 nights we spent in Cocoa Beach, Florida. The 3 of us had a great time playing in the sand, taking walks on the beach, swimming in the pool, and just relaxing. We had a great time there. The weather was fabulous. The 4 night we spent in Sarasota, FL with Matt's parents, sister and her husband. The weather was great there as well. We went to Siesta Key and found a lot of neat shells, swam in the gulf, played in the sand, and soaked in a lot of sun and warmth. The 5-9 nights we were at Disney World. We stayed at the Old Key West Resort and had a great time. Matt and I have sun tans!!! It's so nice to have a sun tan in January, we're thinking this is going to be a new tradition for our family. Maybe not going to Disney every year, but at least going to the beach every year after Christmas. We had a great time at Disney. It was pretty crowded, but we all managed to have a great time. We got to see all 4 parks and were able to ride most of the rides we wanted. Ally got to see almost all of her favorite princesses and Disney characters. I wasn't sure how she'd react to seeing them, since she was afraid to see santa, but she LOVED it. When it was her turn to go up to the character, she'd give them a hug and turn and smile for the camera, then she'd turn back around, give another hug, kiss, and was doing different hand shakes (thanks to her uncles) with the characters. So fun to watch. Ally did so well the whole trip. When she would have a melt down it'd be because it was either bedtime, naptime, or past meal time. She did great though. Ally was really good for the car ride both ways, thanks to the DVDs. I really enjoyed our trip to Disney and tried to soak as much of it up as I could. I enjoyed the rides at Magic Kingdom, the countries at Epcot, the animals at the Animal Kingdom, and seeing Ally get to meet Woody and Buzz. We had a great trip and are so glad we went. Thanks to John and Jackie/Mom and Dad/Papa and Dama for taking us. We had a great time.

On to how we are dealing...today it has been 1 month since Cosette passed. I've been sad most of the day, but have tried to be upbeat. She is definetely missed. I know she would have LOVED every minute of Disney, but she is getting to enjoy Heaven now. I am so thankful for the knowledge that I will be able to see her and hold her again. Ever since she passed there's been a HUGE piece missing from my life. It's hard to go from taking care of someone every day, to all of a sudden not having them here to care for and watch over. There are mornings I wake up and wonder what time she's going to be waking up. She's my angel and I am so grateful for her. I am grateful for the things she taught me while she was here. I know she's trying to make sure we do good every day so we can be with her in the eternities. She's a HUGE reminder to me of the reward I get for living a good life. You don't know the impact someones had on your life until they're gone. Cosette made a large impact on our lives and she was only 15 months old. I am thankful for Ally and the smiles she brings to my face everyday. I am thankful to the baby I am carrying for he reminds me that I need to keep my body healthy at times I don't want to eat. I am thankful for Matt and how strong he has been through this whole thing. I like to think that we are doing well coping with each others coping. We all grieve differently and sometimes it's hard to understand why someone else isn't reacting the same as us. Matt and I have different ways of doing lots of things, so I think that's helped us get through this without tearing each other down.
Anyways...I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and have a great New Year. I will post pictures of our fun, WARM trip later.