Monday, December 22, 2008

I didn't mean for this to be so long

Well, I was going to write down a poem that has brought a lot of comfort, then I read the back of the card it is on and due to the copyright I have to get written permission before posting it on the internet. So I will write what is on the ornament that came with it. My Grandpa and Grandma Smith sent this to me after Cosette passed.
Merry Christmas From Heaven
I love you all dearly
Now don't shed a tear,
I'm spending my Christmas
With Jesus this year.
The days are getting easier and I have a lot less crying moments. Ally is asking more questions and it gets tough in those moments to comfort her with my answers. She doesn't fully understand my answers (who really fully understands why these things happen). She can't comprehend and connect my answers with what she knows. My little girl has lost her sister and her best friend. Her playmate and partner in crime. She is trying to figure things out and gets frustrated very easily. I know it will get easier, but I'm not sure when. I feel at peace with all that has happened, but I will always feel that HUGE hole missing in my heart. My heart aches for Ally. I know we are given challenges and trials to strengthen us and this is one of ours. We'll make it through because of the gospel and our faith in Christ. We are still planning on going to Disney World, Cosette would have been upset if we would have cancelled or postponed it. I feel that she will be there in spirit experiencing it all with us. She is such a sweet girl and we miss her dearly. I know that she is with our Heavenly Father and will be there to greet us when that day should come. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for the opportunity that we had to have her in our home for those 15 months. I feel blessed to have had such a pure spirit in our home and that Heavenly Father trusted us that much, to care for such a precious child of His. He has a way of letting you know He loves you and that He is in charge and yet comforting you all at the same time. I know our life here on earth is short, but there are days when it feels like life is SO long. I know my Heavenly Father is mindful of my family and our needs. He loves us and watches over us.
After reading this you might be left wondering if I am doing okay. The answer is yes. Things are going well for us. Yes, we are sad that Cosette is no longer on earth with us, but we know where she is and that she is happy. We are grateful for the gospel and the comfort we've been able to find through it. Our time on earth is precious and none of us know when He will call us home. Live each day to the fullest, find time to laugh, and show those you love just how much you love them by serving them. The three of us are really doing fine. Cosette was a big piece of our family and she's not here physically, but I feel her here with us quite often. She's our little angel and has given our family such a desire to do that much better so we can spend forever with her. I love being a mom and am so grateful for the 2 little girls I have and the little child on the way. Heavenly Father has blessed our family so much and I am so grateful to Him for the comfort He has brought us. Knowing that what happened to Cosette could happen to any one of us, helps me understand that this was His will for her. This was the plan for our family. He is mindful of our needs and loves us all so much. I'm sure He feels a hole in His heart every time He lets one of His children come down to earth. He has to watch all of the trials they go through and His heart aches for them to come home. Cosette is home and is just waiting to welcome us. She will never know pain, hurt, heartache, and knows that she has a place in the Celestial Kingdom. What great comfort that brings. I love my children so much and feel just a smidge of what Heavenly Father feels when we sends one of His children down to me. My testimony has grown imensely in the last 2 weeks. There are days I wish I could have learned these things a different way, but I know this was the plan and this is what we were suppose to go through as a family.
Thank you all for your support, prayers, and love. We have felt you all here with us.

3 comments:

The Stimpson Family said...

Oh the tears reading this brings to my eyes. You are wonderful and I am grateful that you are feeling so much comfort. I pray that you will always have that comfort with you and your family. I hope you guys have a very Merry Christmas!

Tasha said...

That post was beautiful. I hope you guys have a great vacation!

TotallyContent said...

Tashina, thanks for your testimony - it has strengthened mine in so many ways. I am so glad to hear that your family is doing well and that you have the peace and comfort you need. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers daily as I pray that your family may continue to be strengthened and uplifted. Merry Christmas! Love to all.