Fairies

Do you ever wish the bed fairy or dish fairy would come down and make your beds and do your dishes? Well I normally don't wish for these fairies, but lately have been hoping one fairy in particular would come down and do something for me. Matt and I still need to go pick out Cosette's headstone. I really wish the headstone fairy would come down and just do it for me. It is the one last thing we have left to do and it seems to keep getting pushed to the back of our to-do list. I'm not looking forward to doing this as it is the LAST thing we have left to do. But I want her to have a headstone, so I need to just go and do it. Yesterday in Sacrament meeting we sang I Know that My Redeemer Lives as the closing song and I made it through the first verse barely and had to just sit there for the next 3 verses as my eyes welled up with tears. When Ally was a baby I could sing this song anytime and she would stop crying, with Cosette anytime I sang it I started to feel emotional so I'd just stop singing and sing something like I love to see the Temple or I am a Child of God. Yesterday in church it hit me and I was NOT ready for it. It was fast and testimony Sunday and I was going to get up and bear my testimony, but really felt like I was not going to make it through without sobbing, so hopefully when the next one comes around I won't be so emotional. I won't be pregnant on the next fast Sunday, so that might help.
I am looking forward to next weekend and dreading it at the same time. I love General Conference and have been looking forward to it since Cosette passed away. I am hoping to time Ally's nap right, so that we can watch a whole session and then have my brothers watch her for the afternoon ones (they'd normally be sleeping through it, so they might as well do something useful). One of my sisters had a dream that Bensons birthday was/is April 5, so I am kinda hoping that is true, we'll see. I am dreading Sunday for the fact that it will be 4 months since Cosette left us and it's been on my mind a lot lately. I think just as my due date gets closer and my emotions are right at the surface, it just brings up lots of feelings. I love talking about my little angel. My hope is that when I talk about her it helps me forget less. It helps me work through my emotions and feelings I have about what happened. I miss Cosette so much and today I just can't help but wonder why she had to leave us so early. I accept that it was her time to go back to Heavenly Father, but I don't feel like I had enough time with her. I guess this is true for any person that passes away, but more so for a child. You/I are/am always going to feel like there wasn't enough time. I am just so thankful for those 15 months we had with her and the knowledge that I will see her again. I will get to raise her starting at the age she was when she left us. I just wish that I was raising her here with her siblings. I had such hopes and dreams for Ally and Cosette, growing up so close in age. Knowing that Ally gets to grow up without her sister and not really remembering and knowing Cosette, crushes me.
Okay, on to a happier note....
For those of you that have had children, did you try anything special that worked for you when it came to inducing labor? I am not wanting to do the castrol oil or herbs, but am up for foods. I've heard pineapple and watermelon help, has anyone else heard this? I am just getting tired of so many bathroom breaks (at least one an hour during the day and every other hour at night) and the constant back pain. I'm not trying to complain, but these 2 things are just starting to wear me down. Starting on Wednesday I am going to start doing everything I can to get this little guy out. Ally and I pulled the wii fit out on Saturday and did hula hoop, step aerobics, and did a run 3 times. For some reason he still wanted to stay put, we'll see how he feels after I do this every day this week.