Friday, March 20, 2009

Missing her

Tonight I am really missing Cosette. Actually all day I've been missing her. I've found over the last few weeks that Friday is usually a down day for me. Cosette left us on a Friday and somehow, every Friday I really notice she's not here. I miss her spirit, her laugh, her smell, cuddling with her, and just being in her presence. She's my angel baby now and I can't wait to see her again. As I get closer to my due date, I feel sad knowing that I won't be able to see Cosette with her little brother. I know she's with him and they are great buddies, but I am not going to be able to see them together for a long time (at least in my mind it's going to be a long time). There are so many milestones that I can think of that she would have reached by now. As we've been trying to figure out Ally's bowels, my mom pointed out that with everything we've tried, Cosette would have mastered potty training by now. That's just how she was. She was very determined to do just as well or better than Ally. I love that about her, she's so determined and strong willed. I miss hearing her say "no" ALL the time. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the opportunity that we had to have her with us and get to know her. We are looking so forward to the second coming when we can see her and raise her. I can't wait for that day when I can wrap her up in my arms and just tell her how much she was missed and how much we love her. I know she's watching us and praying for us to choose the right everyday. I am so grateful for eternal families and knowing that we will be together again. My heart is aching so much right now. I am going to have lots of good days mixed in with a few not so good days. Today (tonight mainly) is one of those not so good days for me.
Tomorrow should be a much better day. One of my good friends is having a baby shower for me. I am really excited about it.

2 comments:

Jessica said...

hey, I'm just now reading this...after the shower. Wish I had read it sooner so I could have given you and extra hug. Your testimony in an inspiration Tashina.
Fun to be with you and all the ladies today. Tell Ally thanks for keeping Trent company.

The Stimpson Family said...

With tears coming, my heart is aching for you right now. I am so sorry! I don't have anything to say that will take away your pain and I wish I did. You are in my thoughts. I hope you feel Cosette near and the comfort of the Spirit.